The fallout
by CarlisleandBella2
Summary: OK- Yes I am on another Carlisle/Bella jag! I just love them together. Last story I did throw in Edward as well Please comment/critique-makes me keep writing. As usual-these aren't my characters-non-canon pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One: The fallout**

OK- Yes I am on another Carlisle/Bella jag! I just love them together. (Last story I did throw in Edward as well) Please comment/critique-makes me keep writing.

As usual-these aren't my characters-non-canon pairings. Likely a lemon or two.

_**This story picks up following the abandonment of Bella by Edward. Bella suffers a mental breakdown and gets institutionalized in a psychiatric hospital. After a botched ECT treatment, Bella loses her memory. Carlisle comes to the rescue. Will Bella recover her memory? Will she find love? **_

BPOV

The days following Edward's departure were like a waking nightmare. I kept seeing

Edward's lips moving, but no sound came out. It was like watching a DVD with no

volume skip and repeat over and over. "You are just not good for me, You are just not

good for me..."

The only other vivid recollection was Edward's cool lips pressed against my forehead just

as he left. I had certainly seen this scenario played out in endless movies and TV shows.

Still- I never could have imagined the destruction that Edward would leave in

his path. He took all of me because I had given him all of me. Although we never

consummated our relationship in the usual sense, my body felt abandoned

in addition to my mind. It felt like I was a shell and I had no colorful memories, only

black, white and gray hazy ones. I knew deep in my heart (which actually did physically

ache-just like the cliche) that I would never be OK. Rationally I knew that teenagers felt

that nothing would get better after they were dumped (and yet nearly always they did bounce back), but as my mom told me so many years back "you were born 35 years

old." which already gave me a disadvantage in the "getting over Edward quickly

category". Between the loss of Edward and the Cullen family, I accepted that this was

the end of the line for me as far as love and happiness went. There was no melodrama

which normally accompanied teen breakups, no ripping up photos, plotting secret

revenges with friends, no rebound relationships-just cold, harsh reality. Even the crying

stopped pretty quickly. When Sam found me in the woods in a semi-coma, I spent about

a week on crying jags. The tears stopped and were replaced by a permanent headache and

a sick feeling in my stomach and heart. I spent no time with the usual "why me, what did

I do, can I get him back...?" musings. The sick thing is that this ending wasn't as

shocking as it should have been. What did I expect? I always knew that Edward and his

kind were superior to me in every way-speed, strength, etc. Although I had never been

vain, the biggest area of superiority in my mind was Edward's physical appearance. I

never tired of glancing at him when he wasn't looking; his golden honey eyes, perfectly

sculpted features, fascinating red/brown hair and porcelain skin (fabulous even when he

wasn't sparkling). I never had any confidence in my looks, I was slightly too thin, not

busty, mousy and there was nothing which set me apart from any other girl. I always was

self-conscious around Edward and the Cullens. (I didn't even want to think about the

beautiful vampire Tanya, who so lusted after Edward-he probably lied about not wanting

her, in fact, I bet that he slept with her) He obviously must have thought I was too

unattractive to make love to...and masked it by his fear of "hurting me" in the act. As

soon as I had this flood of feelings, I would try to get them out of my head by

concentrating hard on a color or by counting.

The days after "his" departure endlessly drifted into each other. I mechanically made

breakfast for Charlie, made pleasant remarks, went to school, sat alone at lunch (I

couldn't manage any questions from my peers), toyed with my food, went home,

finished homework, stared at the TV, made Charlie dinner, pretended to eat, went to bed,

stared at the ceiling, and repeated this routine daily. I knew that I couldn't keep this up

physically but I had lost control. I was damaging my body more each day with

lack of food and sleep. I thought that I might be fooling Charlie-he might believe I was

eating OK, he surely didn't know I wasn't sleeping well, and I was pretty sure that he

couldn't hear my tortured screams when I awoke after a few hours of early

morning sleep.

One day after school, Charlie was home early and asked if we could talk. I knew that this

was not a good sign. Charlie was (rightfully) concerned but I just wanted to

be left alone. My job now would simply be to placate Charlie, and lead him away from

worrying about me. "Bells" said Charlie with an almost desperate look "you are killing

yourself slowly and I am so frightened. I never realized the depth of your love for Ed..,

…him. You have to let me in. I'd like to send you to live with your mom" I was angered

with that thought. It felt in a way like I would be moving far away from a gravesite of a

spouse (Edward) that I had been married to for decades. Didn't

Charlie understand that leaving here was my last connection with the Cullen family

(maybe some of them didn't view me with total contempt) I knew that I'd never see them

again, that Charlie was probably right, but leaving Forks oddly made me feel like I was

betraying the strength of the love I had for Edward (Made no sense). "Charlie I simply

can't leave. Besides, I am slowly starting to feel better, and reconnecting with some of my

friends. I don't want miss any of the milestones of high school" I lied through my teeth.

Charlie seemed to buy my protestations that I was getting better. I felt a great sense of

relief. The next day I went off to school as usual, tired, weak and zombie-like. I made it

through English class (thankfully all my teachers had given up on asking me questions)

Next I struggled to gym and took my place on the floor. I had been long excused from

gym class, and no one bothered to try to get me moving. Even the ever hopeful, cheery

Mike rarely glanced my way. I noticed that he had bulked up a lot and gotten quite

handsome since... Mike and Jessica had become a full fledged "item" It hit me that

I was a ghost in this school. People had long lost their stamina for my depression, and

felt hopeless in their efforts to help me. I trudged to Biology class and sat in the seat next

to his old chair. Everything finally fell to pieces around me. I had a light headed feeling

everything in the class swirled above my head, and I collapsed to the floor. I felt so

grateful to feel nothing at all. I was conscious of many of my classmates and my Biology

teacher above me calling my name. My next recollection was waking up in the

Forks hospital, with Charlie and Rene in the room. My first pathetic thought was that

Carlisle would enter the room any moment. Instead, I overheard my parents whispering.

"Rene, I have no idea what to do. This has been hell. I didn't know what to do for her

and she locked me out" Charlie sounded so desperate that my heart re-broke. "Charlie,

I certainly don't blame you. I can't believe I've been in such denial about my sweet baby.

I feel so helpless" Rene whispered, and then asked, "What are the doctors saying?"

"They aren't quite sure what to do. They are rehydrating her, giving her liquid

nourishment and giving her pills to sleep. The problem is, they say, that she has lost

her will to live, and they would like to get her to the mental hospital, Bellevue, and get

her the help she needs. All I know is that Bellevue's sister hospital in Biloxi, is world

renowned." "Charlie-my baby-in an institution? How did it get to this? Was the loss of

Edward that profound?" Rene pleaded. "Rene, if I get hold of that kid, I am going to

kill him. He literally destroyed her. I thought that he was in love with her."

"Umm, guys, I'm awake", I stammered. "You will not put me into Bellevue. I'll be fine if

people leave me alone-no offense." The irony was not lost on me that Alice spent nearly

her whole life in the Biloxi hospital my dad referred to. (On that note, maybe I should go.

You never know-maybe that's the key to getting turned like Alice was, I thought bitterly.

"Bells, said Charlie sadly, the decision isn't yours to make. As a minor, we have the

ability to have you committed. It's not at all what we want for you, but you are slowly

killing yourself." I shrieked: "I'll hate you both forever! You can't… you wouldn't. You'll

never see me again" I was feeling more and more agitated and flailed around trying to

wrench myself out of bed. It was the first time I had really noticed my body in awhile. I

looked ridiculously thin and pale. Two large male nurses slipped into the room, one

holding me down gently, the other adding a powerful sedative to my IV. I drifted off to

sleep and for once had a peaceful dream. I was in the meadow "our meadow" and I was

napping amongst the lovely purple flowers. A light breeze was blowing, a light piano

piece was playing, and after straining my ears, I recognized the lullaby that Edward

composed for me. Gentle tears streamed down my face, yet I felt at peace and was happy

just to feel the sun on my face. The urgency to find Edward was gone. As I enjoyed the

pastoral scene, there was movement behind the trees. My stomach tensed up, expecting

the worst-Victoria out for revenge. Instead a male vampire appeared-Edward! No-

Carlisle! Carlisle strolled toward me impossibly slowly for a vampire, but it gave me a

chance to really observe him. I had always been aware of his incredible intelligence,

kindness and gentility, but I saw something different this time. As he came towards me,

kindly smiling, his bright blonde hair ruffled by the wind and amber eyes sparkling-it hit

me-WOW! He is fabulously good looking. I can't believe I'd never noticed him in that

way before. Edward was dazzlingly handsome, but so was Carlisle, in fact in a much

more manly way. This man was sexiness personified. He reached me, offered a hand and

pulled me to my feet. Carlisle gently embraced me, smoothed my hair, and buried his

face into my hair, taking a deep breath. He whispered right into my ear: "Isabella, I am so

sorry and heartbroken. My family has done this to you, my gentle dear." "Please, do as

your parents say, your health is in grave danger. I will be back for you and I will try to

bring Edward with me. In any case I will not leave you alone ever again. _Trust me._


	2. Chapter 2

**Please review me! This one is more serious and less exciting. Bear with me. Carlisle/Bella. Will there be any Edward?**

_**Carlisle gently embraced me, smoothed my hair, and buried his face into my hair, taking a **_

_**deep breath. He whispered right into my ear: "Isabella, I am so sorry and heartbroken. My **_

_**family has done this to you, my gentle dear." "Please, do as your parents say, your health is in **_

_**grave danger. I will be back for you and I will try to bring Edward with me. In any case I will **_

_**not leave you alone ever again. **__**Trust me.**_

I awoke from sedation feeling groggy with a terrible headache. For a few precious seconds I believed

that this dream was a reality and I felt happy for the first time in months. The thought that one of the

Cullens, although not Edward, cared for me would be a dream come true. The rush of reality, that

this was only a dream flooded over me and the feeling of desperation washed over me again. I think

that Charlie and Renee saw the change in my expression and felt a fleeting sense of hope. "Hi, honey"

my mom said lovingly." It's time for you to be transported to Bellevue. They are obliged to take you by

ambulance, so don't freak out" she clearly understood that I hated the idea of going. I had mixed

reasons for going to the institution; it was for my parents, and for my own fear that I had lost the

ability to heal myself. I also had the most childish hope that maybe Alice would see this development

and have some pity for me. She may convince someone, anyone, to come visit me.

The drill was the same for all people in "my condition." A ride to the institution, a long wait to be

admitted and get signed up for a bed. I was absolutely terrified but I needed to

face this alone without Renee and Charlie. If anyone was going to turn my health around, it would have

to be me. The people checking me in were pretty no nonsense, and I got a flavor for things to come. I

knew there would no longer be room for me to be alone. I was assigned a room, very sparse, with

everything that could possibly be used as a tool to hurt myself removed. I didn't want to take my

own life, I kept telling the staff, but I guess it was their job not to trust me. I was briefly introduced to

my roommate, Laney, a girl of about 16 years, who looked very sweet, but had a very sallow complexion

and a look of helplessness in her eyes. I was assigned a health care team, and immediately disliked their

impersonal approach. They were not able or willing to ask the simplest of questions such as how long

I would be here, what was the plan, would there be any medications involved. I had already resolved

that I wouldn't take any medication, because I was not only afraid of the side effects, but I didn't want

to numb the pain of Edward's departure, I didn't want to forget him. I figured the stay would do me

good, someone would make sure I ate properly, and slept better. I also had a suspicion that it would do

me good to meet others who were struggling. I was concerned that the others would find it laughable

that I was in such bad shape over the loss of a boyfriend-but oh well. For me Edward's loss was more

profound than I think anyone could imagine. I was shown the facility, the cafeteria, the meeting rooms,

the pharmacy and it was explained to me that I could have visits from my family, but for now, I would

not be let out of the facility. I was not allowed a cell phone, so I called Renee and Charlie from the house

phone. They were so concerned, and it again made me afraid. I had an afternoon meeting with my "care

team" who assessed that I was profoundly depressed. I felt like saying "ya think?" but I got the sense

that the nail that stood up here would get hammered down (as the expression goes) The afternoon

wained on, and I was prescribed a cocktail of anti-depressants. Just like I had seen in movies, I took the

pills under their watchful eyes and pressed them up against the top of my mouth, and spit them out as I

turned around. The one pill I did take was a sleeping pill because I couldn't stand staying awake thinking

about Edward. I attended one therapy meeting before going to bed. There were four people in the

session, all of them around my age. I was heartbroken to hear some of their stories. Lanely had

been abused by an uncle, and no one had done anything about it. She had hurt herself in a cry for

help, and thankfully was admitted here for care. She lightened up a bit in session, and amazing

as it may seem, she seemed at home here, at peace. No one could get her here. Another girl in her late

teens was suffering from some sort of bipolar disorder and spent times speaking very quickly and frantically, and it frightened me a little. Her name was Elizabeth. The only boy, Alex, was a "cutter",

something I later learned was when people cut their bodies as a reaction to turmoil that they

could not release otherwise. I glanced at his arms, and there was a frightening array of scars all over. I

could only imagine how the rest of his body looked. It reminded me, painfully of the marks all over

Jasper's body from the newborn bites. (Definitely not something I'd share here!) One girl, Isabel (Izzy)

was so devasted by the loss of her mother in a car crash (in which she was also in the car), that she

didn't seem to be able to articulate her hurt. I was overwhelmed with the suffering in the room, and in

a weird way it comforted me to know that I was not alone. When it came to my turn, I asked the

counselor if I could skip, which she accepted. Everyone in the room looked at me curiously,

wondering what "my deal" was. I was able to get to sleep that night, a fitful sleep, but sleep

nonetheless. That's when the nightmares began. First it was Edward, his skin sparkling dazzlingly

in the sun. I went to embrace him, and he hissed and moved away. He walked quickly away to

catch up with Tanya, and hold her hand. He turned his head to look at me, and the look was so

nasty and dismissive that I could physically feel it even though I was asleep. Many more dreams

followed, Edward attacking me, without changing me. The Cullen family joined in to attack as well.

I couldn't move my body to wake up. The sleeping pills were so strong that I felt paralyzed and

could do nothing but watch this horror movie over and over. (So much for restorative sleep).

As the dawn thankfully arrived, I had one more dream. It was a lovely dream. There was a man at

my side who was holding my hand and leading me to a beautiful meadow (Edward's meadow!)

He whispered to me gently and I couldn't make out the words, I just knew the words were kind.

He leaned down and softly nuzzled the base of my neck with his lips. He reached to get my other

hand to pull me to face him. Carlisle.

AlicePOV

I had seen that my "sister" Bella would be suffering incomprehensibly when Edward left. Although I

understood that his actions were meant to be noble, I was so terribly angry and disappointed with him.

I was tempted many times to visit Bella, but Esme was adamant that no one go against Edward's

wishes to leave me alone for my own protection. I felt that Esme was too protective and didn't worry

enough about Bella. I knew that Carlisle was conflicted as well, he felt horrible that Bella be left to suffer

for something she didn't deserve. I heard many fights between Esme and Carlisle and this was tearing

our family apart. I kept a lookout for Edward as well, and he was suffering so much, it wrenched my gut.

Still-why-why do this to Bella? I couldn't even reach Edward to tell him that Bella's health was suffering.

He kept making new unexpected changes, and I saw him moving from country to country without

enough time for me to hone in on him. What a mess he left behind. Now his actions were even

jeopardizing Carlisle and Esme's relationship. There was infighting between all of the siblings as well.

As expected, Rosalie was happy that there was no possibility that Bella would get changed, she never

cared much for Bella anyway. Emmett disagreed and missed Bella a lot. Jasper was neutral to Bella

being changed, but he hated to see her suffer. One day while I was watching some inane cooking

show, of all things, I saw a very clear vision of Bella. I shouted out to Carlisle to come out of his

study. "Carlisle, I said breathlessly, "Bella is in a mental hospital. As you could imagine she is doing

extremely poorly. I have a vision that something very bad is going to happen to her in the hospital"

The thought of life in a mental hospital brought back very vague but terrifying memories. "I have to

break with Esme's wishes and rescue poor Bella". Carlisle looked as though his frozen heart would

break. "No Alice, I must go. I will be able to gain access to her more easily because I am a doctor, said

Carlisle sadly. "This may really drive a wedge between Esme and myself, but I am too compassionate

to see her in danger. This child is too precious and innocent" I noted the use of the word child, and

It struck me as funny. Bella was a beautiful woman, not a child. I guess that Carlisle used the term

because he felt so helpless. "I am packing my bags. I need to go and tell Esme" I could tell that

He was bracing himself for one of the hardest conversation of his very long life. 

_**Let me know what you think-I know it's a little darker that usual, but life does have some happy endings, right? REVIEW PLEASE.**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks kind reviewers for the feedback! Please keep letting me know what you think!**

"_**No Alice, I must go. I will be able to gain access to her more easily because I am a doctor, said**_

_**Carlisle sadly. "This may really drive a wedge between Esme and myself, but I am too compassionate**_

_**to see her in danger. This child is too precious and innocent" I noted the use of the word child, and**_

_**It struck me as funny. Bella was a beautiful woman, not a child. I guess that Carlisle used the term**_

_**because he felt so helpless." I am packing my bags. I need to go and tell Esme" I could tell that**_

_**He was bracing himself for one of the hardest conversation of his very long life.**_

Little did Alice and Carlisle know that their actions were possibly too little, too late.

I was getting a little better day by day. Eating and sleeping were key to recovery. I dreaded

going to bed even though I was taking sleeping pills, because the nightmares would soon come

and Edward would hurt me in some new way. The paralysis induced by the sleep meds was

terrifying. I felt really badly for my roommate Lanely, because I woke her up many times with

my tortured screams. She would come over to me and sweetly stroke my hair which somehow

made it through the nightmares and calmed me. She was so amazing. To have lived through so

much abuse and still have the capacity to love and comfort was inspiring. I helped her in many

ways, and I think it helped her to "give back." She never had visitors, and had the very barest of

possessions. The only object she seemed to cherish was a stained glass flower she hung on the

window. It looked homemade and I wondered if someone special made it for her. She never

pried into my life, which I much appreciated and I, in turn, only spoke about her past on the

rare occasion when she wanted to. One morning she absentmindedly said "It's none of my

my business, but Edward certainly never knew what he had in you." I flushed a little

when I realized how revealing my evening screaming jags were. I had a feeling of dread when I

thought about Lanely's future. She had nothing and no one. Maybe when I made it out of here I

could give her some help in getting on her feet. One thing that I learned in here was very

sad. All the patients were close and supportive, but once we left we would truly be alone.

I was soon permitted limited visits from Renee (who came to live in Forks temporarily), and

Charlie. They only stayed short amounts of time, and I was able to go for short walks on the

grounds with them. They came alone and sometimes together. Often their visits overwhelmed

me. There was an expectation that I should be a lot better by now. I sometimes had the feeling

that I was disappointing them as well as my caregivers. I was reminded of the lyrics of a song I

so loved: "_they say you're getting better but you don't feel any better"_. There was a chill in the

air as early Spring arrived. I used to love Spring, but I hated it now. Spring represented rebirth

and new possibilities, but it was leaving me in its wake. I knew that part of the reason that I

wasn't moving along as quickly as everyone expected was that I was not taking any of the

meds I was supposed to. I knew that I needed to rethink this decision, but I was not ready

to let go of the pain that Edward left for me. My group had nicknames which were either agreed

upon: Lanely ("Alabama"), Alex (" cutter"), Elizabeth ("fast talking Liz") and Isabel ("Izzy")

and me ("Forks"). We became quite a group of misfits (and that's a lot to say in a mental

institution.) I think that we had an implicit understanding that we had each other's backs and that

we could always talk when we needed to (or in my case to be quiet in the safety of their

company). We found an underground tunnel to an old gym with a basketball court and

ping pong table and a really old boom box. We had the most hysterically funny times

there in our secret place. I sucked at sports, of course, but I found that the one exception

was ping pong. As was the case many times, I found myself taking in details to tell

Edward and having slightly frightening mini-conversations with him, until I could shake

the idea that I wasn't and never would be talking to him. The boom box was always blaring and

we had diverse musical tastes from country to rock, pop, and indie to name a few. We graciously

took turns. The only common denominators were Beatles, Led Zeppelin, U2 and yes, Elvis

Presley. I thought things were looking good at times like these. The times we all dreaded were

when we found out that one of us was well enough to leave because they felt better (which was

great) or the insurance ran out (terrible). In my limited experience those who kicked out because

of economics often were re-admitted in worse shape. The weather was improving and we were

allowed to head out in groups to get some exercise. While on a walk, Lanely caught up to me

with the news that she was being discharged. "Shit, are you getting booted out sweetie?" I said

dismayed. "No"-she said with a wistful smile. "I am being discharged but I feel good about it.

Time I made a go of it in the real world" I quickly assured her that I'd be out soon as well and

we could even get a place for a while, and that Renee and Charlie could help out. I was

happy and jealous all at the same time, and I kind of knew that I wouldn't see her once

we were out. She would disappear like a ghost. On the night before she left, the

gang had a little party for her. We shared candy that Charlie had brought, gave her some

of the silly crafts that we had made in the endless craft sessions that we had to endure.

Lanely was touched and at the end of the party embraced us tightly and said she'd miss us

terribly. She gave me a wistful smile and told me she'd miss me the most. That was the

last time I'd see her. I awoke from one of my nightmares to a real one. There was a

huge uproar and the medical staff burst into the room. I was instructed to stay put.

I heard to my horror a medical team working on Lanely, trying to revive her. The

next morning it was official. Lanely had overdosed with a stash of drugs that she kept

hidden, and I knew that she had been planning this for a while. The sadness was

palpable in the air, and the "gang" wandered around in glassy eyed disbelief. I gave each

of the others tearless embraces. I had nothing left. I couldn't cry anymore. It hit me.

There were wonderful, caring and bright people who just couldn't bear to be alive.

I crouched in my room for days. The gang didn't even meet anymore. The next disaster was

around the corner. A week later a couple orderlies came into the room with a wheelchair. "Time

for ECT therapy young lady" one of them said matter-of-factly. "No, No, No! There's been a

mistake. I haven't ever gotten Electroconvulsive therapy, and no one has said that I will. You

have the wrong person, please believe me!" I became more agitated as I realized that they

weren't listening, started screaming to alert the other staff, and the orderlies were taking my

agitation as evidence that I was really due for some therapy. I wrestled with them as they

restrained me. They shouted for help and someone came and gave me a shot of sedative. As I

was going under I realized that they must be confusing the name Isabella with Izzy's name,

Isabel. She had regular ECT treatments and had benefited from them. I felt I was being wheeled

into a room and electrodes were being put into place, and that's the last thing I noticed before

becoming totally unconscious. When I regained consciousness, I was in the ward and oddly

crouched on the floor. Alex and Izzy hurried to my side to find out what had happened and see

how I was. I looked straight at them and asked "who are you?" I knew they seemed familiar and

friendly, but I really didn't know them or where I was. Temporary memory loss was a typical

side effect of ECT, but what I didn't know, and the doctor and ECT tech didn't either was that

something had gone wrong with the procedure. My memory loss would be profound, and how

long it would last was anyone's guess.

_**As Carlisle and Alice got off their flight, Alice got the glazed look in her eyes, and said**_

"_**Carlisle. We are too late. Bella will have no idea who we are. We are just too late. I can't **_

_**believe I didn't see this in time. Ironically I think I was focusing on Edward's future too **_

_**much"**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**As Carl**__i__**sle and Alice got off their flight, Alice got the glazed look in her eyes, and said**_

"_**Carlisle. We are too late. Bella will have no idea who we are. We are just too late. I can't **_

_**believe I didn't see this in time. Ironically I think I was focusing on Edward's future too **_

_**much"**_

BPOV

Who am I? Where is this place? Izzy, Alex and Liz came over and hovered over me.

Are you OK? they asked in unison.

"Bella, Bella what's wrong? What did they do to you? Izzy was besides herself.

"Do I know you people? My name is Bella? Where am I? What did you do to me? Why don't

I know anyone? Why don't I know who I am?

I was growing more and more agitated as a few more people joined the group and gawked

at me.

"Leave me alone!" I screeched, "Leave me the hell alone!"

The orderlies helped me up. I pulled weakly against their restraining hold. The head psychiatrist

bounded in to the room when she heard the noise. She summed up the situation and shouted for

me to be sedated. She was an angry looking woman with a pinched face and black hair tied

back severely. One of the nurses ran behind the desk where the medications were kept, and

bent down to get something. I was straining to see what was happening, but the orderlies

held me too tightly to get a good look. I started to panic and scream, and someone

shouted to the patients to go back to their rooms. Some patients looked blankly at me,

some patients looked scared and anxious. I caught a quick look at myself. I looked like a crazy

beast. I was deadly frail, my hair was sticking in every direction, and my skin looked

translucent. Suddenly everything grew quiet and I stopped fighting. Didn't seem any point. The

nurse emerged from behind the desk holding a huge needle. I began helplessly straining again as

one of the orderlies plunged the needle into my behind. I screamed in pain and felt an almost

immediate drowsiness.

I felt myself being lifted onto a gurney. I quickly fell unconscious but somehow felt the

hours tick away. I slowly returned to a semi-conscious state and noted that the sun

was rising. My instincts told me to stay still and pretend to be asleep. This

paid off. There were several people in the room and they were talking about me.

"How could this have happened to her?" said the nasty female psychiatrist.

"Listen, I have no idea" (I think the second voice was that of the oderly, Max). "I just know it

was not my fault" His voiced quivered a bit and I could tell he was really panicked.

"I brought her to the ECT room, and I was about to leave, but the technician-what's his name?-

Lance? He seemed off today. He's been like that lately, and.."...

The psychiatrist interrupted "OK, OK, I get the point. Was there anything unusual when

you returned to pick her up from ECT?" she sounded so impersonal.

"Yeah, it was weird. Lance was not in the room like he always is. This patient was still

hooked up to the electrodes. I took the liberty of turning off the machine (I could tell he

was scared about losing his job) This one, (I assume he was pointing to me) had this creepy

blank stare. Is Lance in trouble?"

It sounded to me that Max hoped the answer was yes, so that he would escape any blame.

"We can't find Lance on the premises, but that isn't your business, so go back to your job" The

Doctor was getting very impatient by this point. A second doctor, male, entered the room. "You

won't believe this, Walter, said the woman, "we have a another vegetable here-two in one

month" I guess she meant me. "You have got to be shitting me Anya. Were the circumstances

the same-missing technician, with the patient still jacked in?"

She must have nodded yes, because the room became silent.

"This is even worse. The last patient was homeless, and we could easily cover her adverse

reaction to treatment, and her ultimate death. This one here has a family, and although they

certainly not a well-educated or wealthy family, they can cause us tremendous troubles,

as you know-loss of funding as well as our licenses.

"I don't know, Anya, I don't know if I can take this anymore. This is wrong. Look at this girl. I

hear she was doing much better, and now her future is shot. We'll have to run some tests on

higher brain function, but I think she's mentally fried. We will have to find some explanation for

this, but after that, I'm out of here. I'll set up a small practice on my own. First do no harm is my

mantra." Walter sounded frantic and I pretty sure I was not getting out of this alive.

"Walter, this was out of our hands-purely an accident. I hope you aren't planning on relieving

your guilt by letting the world know about this. Let's clean this matter up for now. Deal

with your conscience later. I am going to fully re-haul our safety precautions. This will

never happen again" She sounded so dispassionate, just going about business and getting

rid of collateral damage.

By now I was totally freaked out. I was obviously part of a huge medical cover up, and I

didn't doubt that they were capable of getting rid of the evidence (me). The good news

was that I knew that I was not in a vegetative state. No memory, but I was able to think

coherently. Now I needed a plan.

"OK Walter, get someone to get her to a scan. Depending on how fried her brain is;

we'll work out the plan based on that" It was like listening to the Devil.

"Anya, if you are suggesting a staged suicide like the last patient, I really need

out. I won't blow the whistle for the reasons you brought up, but I'll have to figure

out an early retirement, new job, something that doesn't suspicious."

"OK, fine Walter, if you can't deal with the mess, I have the balls to do so myself"

Anya spat through her teeth. "While we are on this unpleasant topic,

everyone knows here knows that she's a mess. It's convenient that her roommate

just killed herself, and we can make up a story that she blamed herself for not being able

to save her. On a purely selfish note, now that you know my plans, you will certainly

be considered an accessory if somehow this leaks out."

"Oh God Anya, you are evil. I'll pray for you."

"Save it, Walter! I'll take my chances. Pray for yourself, you are not exactly innocent" I didn't

feel bad for Walter, but he at least had a shred of feeling. Anya was truly evil. If I made it

through this, I was going to bring these two down.

Very randomly the name "Victoria" popped into my head. I was so frustrated because I knew

no one by that name, but there must be some connection between them.

"OK, Anya, I am out of here, I don't want to see any of this. We'll discuss my departure once

it's finished" "It" was me. I was to be finished. Right out of some movie. I would disappear

and it "would be like I was never here". That phrase brought on a flood of sadness. Also

a flood of desperation, quite separate from the feeling that I was about to die. Something

about that feeling was what brought me here, I was convinced.

I heard the door slam, and my slimmest chance for help (Walter) was gone. Someone

else slid into the room. It was Max. He spoke in hushed tones to Anya.

"You won't believe this. Someone found one of Lance's sneakers in the hall outside of

the ECT room, and it was covered with blood!" He put an emphasis on the word blood and

this time his voice was positively shaking.

You could almost hear the gears turning in Anya's head. Damage control was necessary.

"That's odd Max, upsetting really, but I can assure you that he was running away from his

the scene of his mistake so quickly that he dropped a shoe. I doubt that we'll ever see Lance

again. He'll be better off if we don't. "Now Max, I feel terrible about this, but I've just heard

from management that you will need to find another job. They simply don't believe that

you weren't part of this tragic accident. I tried my best to get them to change their minds,

really I did, but I am in a pinch myself. I promise I will help you find an even better job in

the area. The only stipulation is that you will have to sign a confidentiality agreement with

the hospital. They can't risk getting this wonderful facility shut down. We will have a full

investigation of this incident of course, but unfortunately we have to let anyone go who has

had any involvement of what happened here. All you have to do is promise not to speak of this

again, and I promise I'll find you a better job with higher pay" Anya's voice became cloyingly

sweet as she spoke with him. It sure worked. I could tell that Max was relieved not to be

punished, and a bit proud of himself for somehow deserving a better job.

Max left the room and now I was left alone with the devil herself. I was trying my best to

slow my breathing and not let her notice that I was awake. Yet another person quietly

entered the room.

"Victoria" Anya said in a slightly annoyed, but oddly worshipping tone. "I have a huge mess

here- but at least I have the girl you want, Isabella Swan. There has been a lot of chaos

created by fulfilling your request; but I'm pretty sure that we can pull this off without

too much effort"

"There, there Anya, cooed Victoria. "I've already taken care of that weak sniveling colleague

of yours-Walter was it (?) At this point the women's voices were far enough from me and I

finally

dared to crack open my eyes and peer from under my disheveled hair. I couldn't believe my

eyes. In sharp contrast to the homely doctor; Victoria was stunningly beautiful. She had

flawless porcelain skin, piercing blue eyes and a mane of wild, curly fiery red hair.

My intuition was that this creature (why did that word pop up) was a stone cold killer.

I was pretty sure that "taking care of Walter" was a metaphor for killing him.

Even from a distance, it was clear that Anya was completely doe-eyed in love with Victoria.

Victoria leaned in close to Anya and gave her a deep kiss, a well, passionate kiss. This was

just getting stranger. Victoria pulled out of the kiss first and held Anya at arms length.

"Now Anya, what's this about "we can pull off this mess"? I am thankful that you've

delivered my prey, although I am annoyed about the little confusion on your part about which

patient I was interested in. Not that I care, but it caused collateral damage and slowed me in my

quest. You have done everything I've asked of you"

"Great, I thought, now there were 2 women hell-bent on getting rid of me. No way out of this.

I would have at least been comforted by knowing who I was, and why everyone wanted me

gone.

Anya looked nervously at Victoria, like a child approaching an angry parent. "I know it's

not my business, but.. why do you want this woman dead so badly?"

Victoria's features grew more malignant "Well, you are correct that this is none of your business,

but if you must know, she took something-someone away from me once. Someone important"

"Your patient mix-up was an annoyance, but what has me really pissed off is that you hacks

managed to fry her brain, and she'll never fully understand the score that I am settling."

Then Victoria did something quite unexpected. She took Anya by the neck and lifted her off the

floor, higher and higher with one arm. This has to be a dream, I thought, this is physically

impossible. Anya's eyes grew very large and a tear escaped down her cheek. "Thanks Anya.

Don't worry, I'll make this relatively painless. It will look like you've had a stroke, which will

make sense given all the chaos around here." Anya looked like a doll. I could tell that Victoria

was not strangling her, but almost scaring her too death? Anya twitched a bit and went limp.

Victoria let her drop like a bag of potatoes. I would never forget the looked of sheer horror in

Anya's fixed and glassy eyes.

Victoria approached my bed with cat-like grace, and I closed my eyes as tightly as I could

and stifled my scream.

CPOV:

"Alice, this can't end like this.."

"Carlisle, there is no time to wax on, Alice said with some irritation, "My visions

have gotten clearer; she now in mortal danger, and it is from one of our own"

"Victoria?-I asked miserably. I was a bit surprised at the intensity of the wrenching

feeling in the area where my beating heart used to be. I snapped back to attention.

"Where is she?" We had entered the grounds of the hospital. I could tell that Alice was

completely tense, not only because of Bella, but also in no small measure because she spent most

of her human life in a mental institution.

"Well, I don't have GPS, but that looks like the main building" I totally ignored her snippy

remarks. We dashed into the building so quickly that we went unseen to the

group of three patients who had been allowed outside for a smoke. Upon entering the cold

marble building we were greeted with a harsh antiseptic smell. "Guess we are in luck-

smells like illness here. Plan?" Alice ventured.

"Let's find a supply closet. You may need to play patient." I felt bad doing that to Alice.

Luck-the first door opened was a supply closet. Jackpot. I found a pile a stack of scrubs, and

undressed quickly. Any sense of modesty had been thrown out centuries ago. A very dusty

wheelchair was nearly obscured in the corner of the closet. "OK Alice, take a seat,

take your coat off and throw this blanket over you"

"What next Doctor?" she said impishly. Well, at least she still had a sense of humor.

"Alice, you know that far off, spooky gaze you get when you are having a vision? Do that."

She immediately took on the look of a very ill patient not in touch with reality.

"Whatever you do, please don't talk"

I wheeled her out into the main room and pulled up next to an elevator. Luckily the facility

floors were well marked; administration, geriatrics, and yes-3rd floor-young adult psychiatry.

"Got it" I unceremoniously tilted Alice out of the chair, and we pretty much flew up to the

third floor, at which point she jumped back on, and we entered the ward. Now to pass security

without seriously compromising our identity. "Sir, where do you think you are going?" came

the predictable question. The heavy set, middle aged receptionist behind the desk

softened her tone mid-sentence as I turned around to face her. Even from feet away I could hear

the increase in her pulse and the flush blossoming on her face. I could almost feel her

mentally undressing me. Although this typical reaction usually mildly annoyed me,

in this case it would work to our benefit.

"My name is Dr. Cullen and I am the Chief of Medicine at Forks Hospital. I was here visiting a

former patient of mine, but right in front of this building, I found this catatonic patient

unsupervised." I specifically chose a low menacing tone which would both frighten and

send her in a frenzy to try and solve the situation.

"Please find the attending physician at once." I could tell she was torn between wanting to

help me, and the repercussions of leaving her post.

"But, I.." she stammered. I lightened my tone now. "Oh, don't worry, I'll handle things here

while you find the Doctor."

As soon as the receptionist was gone, I wheeled Alice down another corridor, past many patients,

and I realized how big the floor was. I had taken a mental picture of the floor plan and realized

that there could be as many as 150 patients. I was so frantic, an emotion nearly unknown to me,

that I forgot the convention of breathing.

"I can sense the vampire-take a left down this hall" Alice blurted. We weaved in and out of halls

until Alice pinpointed the room.

Inside the room Victoria was startled by the nearby presence of other vampires.

She moved back from Bella's bed and cursed sharply to herself.

I rammed the door down with the wheelchair and Alice jumped into fighting stance.

Victoria let out a growl of pure frustration, shrieked "YOU!" and did a graceful backflip through

the window to the grounds below and disappeared. I quickly noted that a female, likely Bella's

Doctor was splayed out on the floor with a look of frozen terror on her face. My attention

immediately turned to the hospital gurney.

"Bella!" Alice cried. "Carlisle, is she…?"

I thought I knew the answer, but to be sure, I quickly kneeled next to her and felt her warm,

sweet breath.(Why was her breath so pleasing to me?) I took her pulse, and although it was low,

it was not life threatening. I scooped her up. I thought it impossible, but she weighed somewhere

in the vicinity of 80 pounds. For someone 5 1/2 feet tall this was very serious. As I gazed down

on her delicate features, I noted that she was still hauntingly lovely, but she looked like a

shell of her former self. I felt a wave of anger run through me, again, extraordinarily

unusual for me. What was more disturbing is that the fury was not directed towards Victoria..


End file.
